


SED NON ALIUD MINUS

by orphan_account



Category: Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Disabled Character, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Imagines, M/M, Sickfic, all the parx ships pretty much, no polyparx tho sorry chiefs, of course this is what I choose to write about literally heck me--, oneshots, zoinks scoobs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-18 23:03:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20647163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: SED NON ALIUD MINUS - different but not less.I wanted to do something to satisfy my terribly angst-driven creative complex but also really want to bring light to including characters with disabilities so...this was born lmao.No smut. When I say mature audiences I mean people who won't be clowns about this.No real summary. It's in the oneshot style :0





	1. "Oh shi-- oh. Oh my go--" (awtto)

Awsten tended to get himself into the worst of situations. That didn't _usually _include running into a really hot guy at HEB and then making a complete fool of himself.

He was just looking for some _orange juice for fuck's sake--_

When he'd finally settled on one, he made the abrupt turnaround to walk back towards the checkout line when his body slammed into another, shorter one. Awsten didn't comprehend much from the interaction, just that the guy had the softest brown eyes he'd ever seen and long curly hair underneath a large black beanie. His eyes got to him, though. _They were so fuckin' pretty..._

He never got the opportunity to say anything before the guy darted away, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Awsten had felt his own face begin to grow hot; a, because he just ran into someone and didn't get to apologize, and b, because the someone he ran into was really _really _kinda pretty. He cursed to himself once the guy was out of sight, angry for not at least stopping him and asking him his name.

He saw the curly-haired man no more that morning at HEB, and for a while, everything seemed stale. He couldn't get him off of his mind. His days passed by in a haze, and he got almost nothing done that he was supposed to in the week after the encounter. 

And then at the library, he saw Beanie Guy browsing in the same aisle he was in. His heart jumped ten feet in his chest, a tightness forming in his throat. He felt like he couldn't breathe right, and in the best way, he felt a little nauseous. The boy's hair was more tucked into the hat this time, but dark brown tendrils of it fell around his face - his _beautiful fuckin' face. _Awsten thought if he'd stared any longer that his eyes would pop right our of his head and attach themselves to the boy so that he'd never have to stop looking at him.

The way his eyes roamed the shelves, gentle brows furrowed in concentration and lips parted as if he was muttering to himself, made Awsten almost drool on the spot.

Worrying that he'd never get to do this again and simultaneously scared out of his mind, Awsten walked right up to him. The guy turned so that his pretty face was looking right at Awsten. His look of utter focus changed to that of uncertainty. Awsten almost backed up and apologized for having the "wrong guy." But it wasn't. It was the boy that lingered in his daydreams from a week ago at the grocery store who he saw for all of five seconds.

He gulped, his words jumbling behind his teeth before he stuttered out a "Hi." He could feel his face growing steadily warmer, and he swore the back of his neck was wet with sweat. He suddenly worried that maybe he smelled, or maybe the guy was creeped out by his eyes. People were. Before he could say anything else, the guy cut him off with a finger. Reaching into his beanie, Awsten heard a faint _click. _And then Beanie Guy, with his hand resting where his chest and neck met, croaked out a throaty "Hello."

_Thank _God _he doesn't think I'm crazy. _Awsten attempted a smile, and the guy grinned back weakly. The awkwardness seemed to replace the oxygen, and both of them must have noticed, because the guy snickered, and then Awsten giggled; and soon a full on laughing fit erupted between the two of them. Awsten would compare the guys laugh to music, if music could sound like a little kid. It was a little loud and completely off pitch, but he decided he'd be happy listening to it all day if he could.

Hand on his chest again, the guy cleared his throat, his voice adding a high sort of sigh to the sound. "'M Otto," he said, his t's making a slight _th _sound. Awsten found it endearing. "Awsten," he said in response. The guy - Otto - quirked an eyebrow. "Awsten," he muttered to himself, looking down at said boy's shoes. Awsten couldn't help but notice that his diction was somewhat poor. Or maybe it was just certain consonants. _Awsten _sounded more like _ah-then _when he said it. Awsten made no comments on it.

The conversation continued with Awsten having to guess some of the words Otto was saying to him. He could tell something was up. The way "It's nice to meet you" came out audibly as _ith nigh ta meet ooh,_ or how "Sorry about what happened at HEB" slurred together into _sow bout wha appen at ay e vee. _But as much as Awsten wanted to ask, he didn't. Otto could tell, though. He always could when someone was trying to decipher the words as fast as possible. _Shit. _He'd been working so _hard _with Grace on his voice.

"I'm shocked you haven't asked."

"You're shot? Dude, whydintyousay--" and then the rest was lost to Otto as a blur of Awsten's lips moving too fats for him to read. 

"No. _Shocked,_" he tried to clarify. Awsten's very thick eyebrows pulled together, until it clicked visibly on his face.

Of course. Of _course. _The click was probably the click of a hearing aid or _something. _The way Otto's eyes kept watching his lips, the way he needed to have a hand on his throat, the way he stumbled over words and didn't even bother correcting himself.

"Oh shi- _oh. _Oh my go- I'm so _sorry _I probably acted like such a dick--" Otto's little boy laughter filled the space - the space made for just the two of them. Awsten seemed to relax a little more, his face displaying relief and his hand running through his faded purple hair. "You're _fine _man," he said between peals of laughter. He smiled brightly at Awsten. 

"Here," Otto beamed, pulling out a pen from the front pocket of an _adorable _pair of overalls. Awsten's hand was taken by Otto's smaller one, and in sharpie, the latter penned ten digits onto his palm. Awsten's heart soared.

"_Text _me, dumbass," Otto said, his lispy words sticking to Awsten's brain like glue. Then, he placed a chaste kiss on Awsten's cheek and sauntered towards the library exit. As soon as he'd left the building, Awsten jumped up, fist-pumping and shouting a loud "_YES!_" A harsh _shh _followed.

He didn't care as he pulled out his phone with shaking hands, adding Otto's contact under a black heart emoji and smiling like the idiot he was.


	3. I Am The Messenger (gawsten)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff met Awsten seven years ago. The night before he proposes, he finds himself falling through a dreamscape where he keeps meeting different versions of his lover.

Geoff officially met Awsten on a cold day in January of 2012, when Houston shivered under a thin coat of frost and he was catching a bus back to his apartment complex. He learned from the encounter that Awsten quickly became fairly defensive before he got to know someone, typically because the first thing people tended to see were two wheels and skinny limbs. Geoff was guilty as charged.

It didn't stop him from being enchanted by him, though. His hair had been mud brown at the time, bleached underneath where his "emo side burns" were. His eyes were young, twenty years young. He wore a tight leather jacket and a tonne of bracelets.

He'd looked at Geoff accusingly when he caught him staring. He'd snapped at him, the ends of his words slurring together. At the time, Geoff didn't know if this was because of the cold shutting him down or his fairly obvious disability.

It was the latter. 

"Why're ya starin' at me?"

"Because you're pretty." It wasn't a lie. He had a button nose that was red from the temperatures outside at the bus stop. His left eye was bluer than his right one. His lips were gorgeous shape. His expression had softened at Geoff's words.

A blush that Geoff was privileged to still witness seven years later filled his face. Initially, Geoff wanted to say it was because he looked cold, but he was overly worried about sounding like he was putting him and making up a shitty excuse.

Still, after a few minutes of conversing while Awsten's tiny body vibrated like a chihuahua, Geoff offered him his mittens. And maybe the rest of his hot chocolate, too.

Six years later, the best of friends decided maybe being an item _wasn't _the worst idea on the planet. Geoff one this came with a package of things that under conventional circumstances, people would shy away from. Geoff's anger at it's injustice only motivated him to be as educated of a boyfriend as he could be.

He'd spent a total of over an hour and a half up late on Google researching something Awsten abbreviated to "c-p," which he later learned meant _cerebral palsy._ He only got four and a half hours of sleep that evening, but was too eager to Awsten again to sleep in. That morning, he'd called him at the park with the lake and asked him to be his. 

It was his proudest moment as a human being.

This evening, he lay in bed with his arms around the smaller of the two. Awsten's legs were extremely weak, but _damn _did he kick in his sleep. Geoff had gotten used to waking up with bruises on his shins. Awsten, to this day, always apologized for it. Geoff always brushed it off. 

Tomorrow was their first anniversary. Geoff already had his idea in motion for them. He would take him to the bus stop where they met, have a picnic lunch, then propose. The ring was hiding in the depths of his nightstand drawer. His heart beat _incredibly _fast.

He couldn't sleep. So he wasn't sure if he was dreaming when a playing card showed up in his hand – the ace of spades. On the back were six locations. Puzzled, he sat up, trying not to wake his almost-fiance. But Awsten was no longer beside him.

Bewildered, and a little bit frightened, he got out of his bed, searching the room for any sign of him – stray sweaters, an empty wheelchair, their cat, Jet. But the space yielded no sign of Awsten Knight having ever been there in the first place. 

He pulled out the playing card and looked at it, examined it, as if to confirm that this was all really happening. And when he looked up again, he was no longer in a bedroom. Instead, he was at a playground.

_How did I get here?_

"So _you're _the new helper," a small voice chirped up at him. He looked down to see he was in front of a sandbox. There was a little boy building a sand castle one handed. His eyes were big and bright and full of joy and almost _exact _replicas of Awsten's. He did a double take.

"Y-Yeah, I guess I am," he stammered, unable to take his eyes away from the little boy. "Geoff," he said quickly, holding out his hand. The kid reached up and shook it, his tiny fingers wrapped up completely in Geoff's. His chest felt lighter. He hadn't interacted with children in a very long time, and if this was a dream, it was a _damn _good dream he was having so far. 

"I'm Awsten," the boy smiled at him, going back to his castle - well, okay it was more or less a mound. Geoff shook his head to wake himself up. "How do you spell that?" he asked, unable to stop the urge from seeing if it was really _him._

Awsten laughed at him. _Even their laughs are the same. _"Can't you spell?" he asked, unable to stop his giggling. Geoff's cheeks heated up, and Awsten looked pointedly at him before pronouncing, "A, W, S, T, E and N!" He paused building his pile to look at Geoff with an almost forlorn expression. "You can't spell, but at least both your hands work." He looked to his left hand, which lay limp and bent at a funny, inward turn. Geoff shrugged at him.

"At least you can spell."

Awsten smiled a small smile, and Geoff sat silently with him in the sandbox, making a pile of his own (albeit, neater).

The card appeared on top of his sand pile. Geoff looked to Awsten one last time. "Don't let your hand get you down, kid," he said before standing up with card in hand and watching the scenery change from a playground to a schoolyard. A middle-school schoolyard. _Shit, of all things-- _"Hey _gimp!_"

The voice was menacing, lacing onto a boy who walked with a heavy limp and a twisted left hand tucked to his chest. He struggled to hold all of his books as he half stepped sheepishly across the parking lot past where Geoff was standing. He watched in shock as a taller, buffer kid walked up behind him and pushed him to the ground. Geoff couldn't see through the red in his vision if the boy faceplanted.

He had a feeling he knew who it was.

"Hey!" he shouted, storming towards the perpetrator and trying to look intimidating. The guy took one look at him and backed shakily away, his face getting steadily paler. "You stay the fuck away from him, you hear me?" The bully nodded, running in the opposite direction; and just like that, Geoff's attention was back on the boy receiving the hits. He picked him up off of the ground, noting that he seemed too shaken up to even sit up off of the pavement let alone get up on his own. His hair was darker than the last child Geoff encountered, but his eyes were still the same. He was meeting Awsten _again._

He leaned on Geoff the whole way back to the nurse's office, limp growing almost heavier. His knees were scraped up and his lip was beginning to swell. His nose and cheek had a couple of cuts. _Shithead, _Geoff though to himself as he tried explaining in the most logical and not this-is-all-probably-just-a-dream sort of way. Sitting on the nurse's bed beside Awsten, he teleported again.

_I never really get to say goodbye, do I?_

The next scene was a music store. Geoff watched in silence as the same Awsten from the schoolyard - or, perhaps _not _the same Awsten - walked aided by crutches to a shelf of vinyls in the punk rock section. He could see the boy's green and blue eyes eyeing a record at the very top, the _tippy _top. He looked around nervously, as if he wanted to ask for someone to get it down for him but felt too embarrassed to actually do it. Geoff approached with care.

"Which one?" he asked. The bo-- _Awsten's _eyes lit up in surprise. "J-Journey," he stuttered, more in shock and less in intimidation. Geoff stood on his tiptoes and paged through them to find it, sliding it out and handing it to Awsten. Awsten gazed in awe at the vinyl in his hands. "Hey thanks man!" he exclaimed, smiling at Geoff before walking up to the checkout counter.

Fading into view, Geoff's next entrance was a college campus library. He spotted Awsten immediately. It was _his _Awsten, chair and all, paging through a book and chewing a sweater sleeve nervously. Geoff tried looking inconspicuous as he said a quiet "excuse me" and pulled out a random book from the shelf beside Awsten, trying to make it look intentional. He stepped back from the shelf, opening to a random page.

"Hey," a small voice said. He knew that voice _anywhere. _He looked up and met Awsten's eyes. "Yeah?" he responded, his voice lowered for the quieter setting. Awsten looked down at his lap. "Nevermind, 's stupid," he muttered. Geoff furrowed his eyebrows. This Awsten's slur was exactly the same as _his _Awsten's. It made his heart ache hearing him talk about himself like this. "I'm sure it isn't," he urged.

Awsten shook his head. "I'm in love with a girl in my business class...and I don't know how to ask her out." _Shit. _This Awsten wasn't his. _Still. _He tried to look concerned as he rattled off the speech about how they have to _love you for you, man, or it's all bullshit. _He played up the college kid nonchalant act, breaking on the inside because he knew Awsten was going after someone who wasn't him.

Even if it wasn't his Awsten to begin with. 

It concluded with the boy rolling away towards the exit of the library and Geoff being transported to a different location. This time he was at a dance.

Or rather, a disco-esque event of some sort. This time it took him longer to find Awsten, and when he did, he was in a power chair, without a dance partner during the festivities, and in the nicest damn suit Geoff ever saw on a human body. He walked over, unable to help himself when he eye-made-out with Awsten. The latter looked up at him. Geoff called out over the noise, "Wanna dance?" and the smile on Awsten's face was noteworthy. He rolled out onto the floor with Geoff, and for the rest of the night, he spun in circles around Geoff's feet while Geoff "twirled" him to different tracks over the loudspeaker.

But it was the last scene that Geoff remembered to this day the _most. _It was the most vivid, the most striking against the other Awstens. It still wasn't _his _Awsten, but it was the most connected he'd felt to _any _of the Awstens.

He stood in the bedroom of an adult nursing home. The walls were painted an ugly shade of peach, Awsten would have gagged at the color; the bed was made neatly, machines upon machines beside it; the room was void of most items, save for a few books on a shelf and a small TV. And Awsten himself sat, his whole body crumpled, in a wheelchair almost bigger than his own body. A bandana was around his neck, serving as a makeshift bib - Geoff could see the drool stains on the front of it. The man himself was enveloped in seat reinforcements, his limbs with minds of their own. A butterfly flew out the window - _fucking cliche, _Geoff thought - and the excitement at seeing a living thing sent a spasm through Awsten's whole body. He jittered.

Someone had left a radio in the room. Someone _had _to, because _Put Your Head on My Shoulder _by Paul Anka was filling up the room. Awsten's head bobbed weakly with the music. 

He was aware of Geoff before said man could say a word. His eyes followed to the man standing and watching, moving to his chest. Geoff looked down - where did a visitor's tag come from? Awsten's face seemed to light up, and a string of drool fell from his mouth. Geoff walked up and wiped it away with his shirt. Awsten laughed at him in...gratitude? That was close enough.

He remembered very vividly undoing the straps on Awsten's chair, supporting his limp and wiggling body of skin and bones and holding him tightly to his chest - _like a baby. _Except he knew in his mind that Awsten's own was that of an adult. It was trapped.

He carried him close to himself and began to sway. Awsten's head nuzzled into Geoff's shoulder, ironically as the chorus began to play: _put your head on my shoul - der._

Geoff's body turned with the beat, and Awsten was leaving a wet patch where his mouth was. He let out a content sound, and Geoff felt his heart leap. It was like music - _better _than music. He heard Awsten begin to try humming along under his breath, his mouth open in a gape and his voice uncooperative. Geoff held him tighter.

The feather-light weight in his arms slowly started to drift, and soon he was asleep. Geoff continued his gentle sways until long after the song stopped. He blinked, a tear falling from his face. _I'd have you in _any _way, _he thought to himself. He thought of the ring in his nightstand drawer, the little boy on the playground, the boy from the schoolyard, the record shop, the library encounter and the first dance. And here he was having his last before he woke up.

Awsten - _real life _Awsten - was in his arms, facing away from him, snoring. The nursing home room was gone, their shared bedroom had returned. A stray sweater hung off the bed frame. He didn't register the wetness of his cheeks.

He pressed a soft, chaste kiss to the back of Awsten's head. _I can't wait to marry you, _he thought to himself, drifting into an imageless sleep and thinking about the question he'd have to ask the next day. 


End file.
